The Millionaire (next door) Major Gift Strategy

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The affluent have not changed much because people have not changed much either.

Picture of John Pepperdine

John Pepperdine

Anyone entering a profession needs a go-to book to ground them. Entering the world of fundraising, specifically major gifts, it was “The Millionaire Next Door: the Surprising Secrets of America’s Wealthy,” by Thomas J. Stanley.  As a researcher of the affluent, Stanley had a very clinical look at studying wealth that was driven by data and research compiled since the 1970s. His book was a culmination of that research and was published way back in 1996.

I’d encourage you to read it today. The affluent have not changed much because people have not changed much either.  The psychology and behaviors are pretty much the same today as they were in the past. I’ll prove that to you later, but let me share the big secret first.

While the book has gobs of information and anecdotes to fuel your thinking, here’s the nugget that made me stop and think, and later advised others to consider.  Stanley’s survey of the wealthy concluded a statement (aggregate of the surveys): We live well below our means. We wear inexpensive suits and drive American-made cars. Only a minority of us drive the current-model-year automobile.

So, if someone’s capable of making a major gift, say $20,000 or more, they’re not necessarily going to show it.

What do you look for?  Well, the study found many interesting traits the affluent do share, like doing their research on investments (think philanthropic investments) and building trusting relationships.  

With this knowledge, I thought about how I’d approach someone who “might” be capable of a gift and had shown genuine interest in the institution I was asking people to support.  As you’d expect, one of the first major gifts successes was from a woman in Hutchinson, Kansas, living in a modest house and driving a Ford Sable, who had made just as modest gifts to the institutions over the years.  As she shared with me, she was happy to make the large gift. She didn’t need a new car or bigger home; she wanted to invest where she’d make a difference in people’s lives. Certainly, she asked me tough questions about how the gift would be used, who would administer it, and ultimately met with recipients of her previous “test,” a smaller gift, to ensure that the gift was well utilized.

Basic, Timeless Strategy

Throughout the years, I’ve used the simple premise that virtually any cause has a group of affluent individuals who would like to give more. But it’s your job to find them and see if they’d like to build a stronger relationship with the institution.

Certainly, many people know this, but too many nonprofits build their major gift strategy ignoring it.  Here’s what you should do

Strategy Step #1: Assess the millionaires

Really get to know your database (or spreadsheet…or stack of business cards piled on your desk)  As I’ve mentioned in my previous blog “Look in Your Own Yard for Major Gifts,” you should assess your current donor base and start thinking about how many millionaires are in it and how many would give larger amounts if you made a compelling and sensible case.

Strategy Step #2: Better know your case (statement)

Millionaires are planners.  Stanley’s book highlighted this statement, “We have a ‘go-to-hell fund.’ In other words, we have accumulated enough wealth to live without working for ten years or more. Thus, those of us with a net worth of $1.6 million (1996 dollars) could live comfortably for more than twelve years. Actually, we could live longer than that, since we save at least 15 percent of our earned income.” What’s this tell you?  It told me I’d better be prepared to answer questions about a project’s budget, a timeline to implement, contingency planning, and any other details a meticulous planner might ask. You’ll need to be ready to do the same.

Strategy Step #3: Implement, execute, and engage ASAP

Hopefully, step #2 has not given you “paralysis by analysis” and scared you from going out and developing stronger relationships with your donors. Chances are, you’ve done this work (though you may wish to assess) and just need help articulating and communicating it in persuasive, conversational manner.  So now you need to engage these millionaires. Certainly, think about how you do so. For steps, here’s a quick resource from MPW Strategies, the Ten Steps to Better Donor Engagement.

And if you’re fearful they’re not relatable and you’ll have trouble connecting, fear not. As Stanley’s survey response pointed out they come from all walks of life. Not every affluent person is building a spaceship to Mars. “Many of the types of businesses we are in could be classified as dullnormal. We are welding contractors, auctioneers, rice farmers, owners of mobile-home parks, pest controllers, coin and stamp dealers, and paving contractors.”

Strategy Step 4: KEEP it up! Focus on the relationship and the outcome

Finally, develop a system, culture, discipline, and drive to secure major gifts. It takes time – time for you to develop your style, time for you to learn who your donors are, and time for staff or volunteers to engage appropriately as well.  Generally, major gifts can take at least a few months but many take far longer. But a “major gift” should not be your goal, it should be a relationship with someone interested and capable of making that gift. From that relationship, major gifts may occur, or perhaps a consistent annual gift, or perhaps a planned gift, all great possibilities for your institution, your cause and the people you support.

Lastly, the Personality of the Affluent Remains

As promised, here’s the proof a Millionaire strategy is as relevant as ever.  Last month the wealth screening service WealthEngine released their newest U.S. Millionaire report (free download here). And guess what? The second most popular car maker of a millionaire…Ford.

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Meet Lauren

Lauren Sisneros

Lauren Sisneros is the founder of LS Consultants, LLC, a consulting firm that provides strategic advising and interim management support to nonprofit and education-focused organizations. A mission-driven leader with over 20 years of experience, Lauren brings a deep commitment to advancing equity across education, workforce development, and public policy.

With a keen understanding of complex systems and a results-oriented approach, Lauren partners with organizations to develop and implement strategies that are both effective and sustainable. Through LS Consultants, she delivers hands-on guidance in program management, board and stakeholder engagement, and leadership transitions, empowering mission-aligned teams to grow, adapt, and create lasting community impact.

Lauren has collaborated with a diverse portfolio of clients, including the Prosperity Denver Fund, Contractor Academy, Education Commission of the States, and Strong Start to Finish. Her work is grounded in a strong foundation of project management, nonprofit leadership, and policy analysis.

She holds a Bachelor’s degree in Business Administration from Colorado State University–Pueblo and a Master’s in Education from Colorado State University Global. Lauren is also a proud graduate of the University of Denver’s Latino Leadership Institute, a fellowship preparing Latino professionals for positions of influence across Colorado, and the Denver Metro Chamber Leadership Foundation’s Leadership Program, an 11-month civic leadership experience.

A Colorado native born and raised in the San Luis Valley, Lauren now lives in Lakewood, Colorado. She is a proud mother of two college students and a devoted grandmother who cherishes time with her family.

Throughout her career, Lauren has remained deeply dedicated to expanding access to opportunity, especially for underserved communities. Her work continues to center on shaping systems that are inclusive, community-driven, and equity-focused.

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Kyle Christensen

Kyle Christensen, M.P.A., is a program leader, facilitator, and trainer with more than 25 years of experience designing and delivering transformative learning experiences that advance leadership, civic engagement, and organizational change. He specializes in designing and evaluating leadership programs, facilitating team and organizational development, and guiding strategic planning processes that align purpose with measurable impact.

As founder of The Connected Leadership Project and consultant with Arrow Performance Group, Kyle partners with organizations such as the State of Colorado, CiviCO, and the University of Denver to design experiential leadership programs that build resilience, connection, and innovation. He also serves as program director for Leadership Veteran, an 8-month leadership initiative advancing the skills of professionals serving veteran communities.

Previously, Kyle directed Colorado State University Douglas County Extension, where he launched Colorado’s first Juntos 4-H program to expand pathways to higher education for Latinx youth and families. He also led the Family Leadership Training Institute of Colorado and has worked with institutions such as Peace Corps (Moldova), NYU Steinhardt, Centrul Educatia 2000+ (Romania), and the Council for Economic Education.

Kyle’s facilitation expertise is rooted in adult learning theory and supported by credentials such as Emergenetics, Strategic Doing, and Technology of Participation. He has led statewide and national trainings, peer learning cohorts, needs assessment processes, and community-centered planning efforts across government, nonprofit, and education sectors.

He holds an M.P.A. from New York University’s Wagner School of Public Service and a graduate certificate in Learning and Development from the University of Denver’s College of Professional Studies.

Kyle believes that the workplace should focus on continuous learning and growth, inclusive engagement, and creating a sense of belonging. “Why wouldn’t we hope for work environments that align with our values and our professional and personal growth aspirations?” He brings curiosity, compassion, and clarity to every engagement, and is most inspired when people find their voice, connect with others, and lead boldly in collective service.

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Jason Pemberton

Jason Pemberton is a multi-award winning facilitator, coach, independent executive board director, and strategist based in Denver, Colorado. Born in USA and raised in New Zealand, his entire career has been dedicated to Not-for-Profit and purpose-led organizations striving for high impact.

A series of catastrophic earthquakes in his home city of Christchurch, New Zealand, launched him into several years of disaster response, which, in turn, launched him into international consulting practice. He has worked in more than a dozen countries supporting companies, networks, and communities navigate through unexpected terrain for mutual benefit.

As a strategist and coach, he is pragmatic, direct, and clear, bringing his sharp mind and depth of thought to the fore whilst supporting groups to identify their own priorities and take charge of their future. His deep governance experience, coupled with professional training in positive psychology and related coaching accreditations, makes him highly effective at supporting teams of leaders and governors to find successful paths forward.

His time now is invested in supporting governance boards and senior leaders to succeed, and coaching technical experts and engineers on how to be skilled leaders of people.