Dark Side of Fundraising: How to Avoid Pitfalls and Build Donor Trust

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Picture of John Pepperdine

John Pepperdine

Here’s one fundraising takeaway I’d love to share: do NOT go to the Dark Side of fundraising, go to the light!

If you’re a fundraiser — a university president, volunteer for your kids’ school, or seasoned professional — you all share one common enemy: the very dark and evil side of fundraising. This insidious and seemingly all-powerful entity is lurking in your database, fundraising appeal email, and represented by the fear of making a personal connection. Don’t give in to it, and don’t ignore it (see Fundraising Winter is Coming).

That evil is what I call the dark side of fundraising, “the transactional relationship.” A relationship where donor’s names are misspelled or not used at all! Where donors are not asked why they give and if they’d like to do more. The dark side sits in the space where we forget to invite donors to meet us or see the people we’re helping.

Think I’m making too much of this? Consider what turns you off. What prevents you from wanting to get more involved in your favorite cause, school, university, or nonprofit. It’s when someone treats you like a number, a file, or just one more email. They don’t look at where, how, how often, or how they make their contribution (mailed donation, payroll deduction, donor-advised fund, multi-year pledge, online contribution, etc.).

Now think about the institutions and nonprofits that reach out to you who reach out to you and make you want to read more, talk with them, and give more (see: 10 Steps to Better Donor Engagement). Typically, they’ve genuinely thanked you in a meaningful way. They’ve share compelling stories or facts that make you feel great about being a “part” of the solution.

So, you want to go to the light side, but how? Well, as much as I would love to solve this problem with a single 500-word post, I’m pretty sure I can’t. But I can give you ONE guiding principle to stick to that I promise will make a difference, and possibly the most significant difference you’ll ever see!

Go to the Light!

Again, instead of the dark side (transactional relationships, treating donors like a number, not thinking about how you manage the relationship), go the “light side,” and build genuine relationships! How? Here’s a start:

Annual appeals: find out if they give to specific areas and ask them to give to that area again while sharing what else can be done if they choose to give more.

Weekly thank-you from a PERSON: Know your top 1% of your donors and call them. It’s an easy call because you’re merely thanking them and asking if they’d like to learn or do more.  And know, just be you! (see: Fundraising Truth: I’ve Never Talked Anyone into a Gift).

Manage data: “Administrative Hygiene” is rarely fun or exciting to discuss, but necessary. One easy and vital action you can take immediately to join the light side of the database is to review your top 1% records (see: “How We Solve the Fundraising Mystery). I guarantee you will find errors or spot key enhancements that will help you develop relationships better.

These are just three examples, but I hope they show you how powerful the dark and light side of fundraising can be. Join the light side; stop treating donors like they don’t matter. Manage their data, talk to them, and respect their giving history. I promise all of this effort to personalize your relationship with donors will significantly improve your fundraising.

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Lauren Sisneros

Lauren Sisneros is the founder of LS Consultants, LLC, a consulting firm that provides strategic advising and interim management support to nonprofit and education-focused organizations. A mission-driven leader with over 20 years of experience, Lauren brings a deep commitment to advancing equity across education, workforce development, and public policy.

With a keen understanding of complex systems and a results-oriented approach, Lauren partners with organizations to develop and implement strategies that are both effective and sustainable. Through LS Consultants, she delivers hands-on guidance in program management, board and stakeholder engagement, and leadership transitions, empowering mission-aligned teams to grow, adapt, and create lasting community impact.

Lauren has collaborated with a diverse portfolio of clients, including the Prosperity Denver Fund, Contractor Academy, Education Commission of the States, and Strong Start to Finish. Her work is grounded in a strong foundation of project management, nonprofit leadership, and policy analysis.

She holds a Bachelor’s degree in Business Administration from Colorado State University–Pueblo and a Master’s in Education from Colorado State University Global. Lauren is also a proud graduate of the University of Denver’s Latino Leadership Institute, a fellowship preparing Latino professionals for positions of influence across Colorado, and the Denver Metro Chamber Leadership Foundation’s Leadership Program, an 11-month civic leadership experience.

A Colorado native born and raised in the San Luis Valley, Lauren now lives in Lakewood, Colorado. She is a proud mother of two college students and a devoted grandmother who cherishes time with her family.

Throughout her career, Lauren has remained deeply dedicated to expanding access to opportunity, especially for underserved communities. Her work continues to center on shaping systems that are inclusive, community-driven, and equity-focused.

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Kyle Christensen

Kyle Christensen, M.P.A., is a program leader, facilitator, and trainer with more than 25 years of experience designing and delivering transformative learning experiences that advance leadership, civic engagement, and organizational change. He specializes in designing and evaluating leadership programs, facilitating team and organizational development, and guiding strategic planning processes that align purpose with measurable impact.

As founder of The Connected Leadership Project and consultant with Arrow Performance Group, Kyle partners with organizations such as the State of Colorado, CiviCO, and the University of Denver to design experiential leadership programs that build resilience, connection, and innovation. He also serves as program director for Leadership Veteran, an 8-month leadership initiative advancing the skills of professionals serving veteran communities.

Previously, Kyle directed Colorado State University Douglas County Extension, where he launched Colorado’s first Juntos 4-H program to expand pathways to higher education for Latinx youth and families. He also led the Family Leadership Training Institute of Colorado and has worked with institutions such as Peace Corps (Moldova), NYU Steinhardt, Centrul Educatia 2000+ (Romania), and the Council for Economic Education.

Kyle’s facilitation expertise is rooted in adult learning theory and supported by credentials such as Emergenetics, Strategic Doing, and Technology of Participation. He has led statewide and national trainings, peer learning cohorts, needs assessment processes, and community-centered planning efforts across government, nonprofit, and education sectors.

He holds an M.P.A. from New York University’s Wagner School of Public Service and a graduate certificate in Learning and Development from the University of Denver’s College of Professional Studies.

Kyle believes that the workplace should focus on continuous learning and growth, inclusive engagement, and creating a sense of belonging. “Why wouldn’t we hope for work environments that align with our values and our professional and personal growth aspirations?” He brings curiosity, compassion, and clarity to every engagement, and is most inspired when people find their voice, connect with others, and lead boldly in collective service.

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Jason Pemberton

Jason Pemberton is a multi-award winning facilitator, coach, independent executive board director, and strategist based in Denver, Colorado. Born in USA and raised in New Zealand, his entire career has been dedicated to Not-for-Profit and purpose-led organizations striving for high impact.

A series of catastrophic earthquakes in his home city of Christchurch, New Zealand, launched him into several years of disaster response, which, in turn, launched him into international consulting practice. He has worked in more than a dozen countries supporting companies, networks, and communities navigate through unexpected terrain for mutual benefit.

As a strategist and coach, he is pragmatic, direct, and clear, bringing his sharp mind and depth of thought to the fore whilst supporting groups to identify their own priorities and take charge of their future. His deep governance experience, coupled with professional training in positive psychology and related coaching accreditations, makes him highly effective at supporting teams of leaders and governors to find successful paths forward.

His time now is invested in supporting governance boards and senior leaders to succeed, and coaching technical experts and engineers on how to be skilled leaders of people.