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Connection Happens on Purpose: Building Belonging into Our Lives

Picture of By Kyle Christensen

By Kyle Christensen

The way we use our time together communicates what we value.

“Every time we bring people together, we have an opportunity to help them feel known, valued, and part of something that matters.”

Think about the last meeting you attended. You probably remember whether you finished the agenda. But did you leave feeling more connected to the people around you? Did someone ask a question that made you feel understood? Did you learn something about a colleague beyond the project they were managing?

Our calendars are full of opportunities to come together. What we make of that time deserves our attention.

Connection Is More Than Coming Together

At work, we spend considerable energy coordinating tasks, sharing information, and tracking progress. We also have the opportunity to get to know the people doing this work and learning more about what matters to them, what experience they bring, and where they could use support.

The same is true in our neighborhoods, friendships, and community groups. Meaningful relationships grow through the attention we give one another and the opportunities we create to engage, connect, and participate.

Why Connection Matters

Connection has consequences for our well-being. A review of 148 studies involving more than 300,000 people found that stronger social relationships were associated with overall longevity. This research makes a compelling case for treating relationships as an essential part of a healthy life. Holt-Lunstad, Smith, and Layton, 2010.

The U.S. Surgeon General’s advisory on social connection also describes how supportive relationships help people manage stress and contribute to healthier communities. Its recommendations include creating workplace cultures that encourage connection and making time for relationships in everyday life. Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation, 2023.

Making Belonging Tangible

These findings invite us to consider both what we accomplish when we gather and how we experience the time we spend together. A new employee may attend every meeting and still be unsure whom to ask for help. A longtime team member may contribute consistently without feeling that anyone notices. Someone joining a community group may receive a warm greeting but struggle to find a way into the conversation.

Each situation offers an opportunity to make belonging tangible: introduce someone to a supportive colleague, acknowledge a specific contribution, or invite a new participant into a conversation and make space for their response.

Small Habits, Meaningful Connection

This understanding of the importance of everyday relationships is at the heart of Gather, a national, all-volunteer initiative dedicated to inspiring connection and belonging. Gather is grounded in a simple idea: small, intentional habits can strengthen our relationships, and each of us can help create workplaces and communities where people feel welcome, valued, and included. As part of this volunteer effort, we have developed learning experiences and practical resources that bring these ideas into everyday life. Gather offers seven habits to get started: ask for or offer help, be present, meet your neighbors, join something, mentor someone, volunteer, and practice gratitude.

The power of these habits is in how we practice them. We remember something a colleague shared and ask about it later. We give someone our full attention. We reach out for help and create an opportunity for another person to contribute. Repeated over time, these actions communicate something important: You matter here.

Building Connection Into the Way We Gather

We can build these practices into the ways we already come together.

  • In team meetings, make room for mutual support. Ask, “What is something you could use help with this week?” or “Who helped move your work forward recently?” Give people the option to pass and make time to respond to what they share. Following up on a request or recognizing a contribution gives the conversation lasting value.
  • In trainings, help people learn from one another’s experiences. Before opening a full-group discussion, offer time for individual reflection and a conversation with a partner. A question such as, “When have you experienced this challenge, and what helped?” connects the content to people’s lives. It also gives participants an opportunity to listen, find common ground, and appreciate different perspectives.
  • In professional development, create opportunities to reconnect. Invite participants to form peer coaching pairs, schedule a brief follow-up conversation, or meet again to discuss what they have tried. Shared learning can become the beginning of an ongoing relationship, especially when there is a clear invitation to continue.

Connection Requires Follow-Through

And pay attention to what happens when someone speaks honestly. How we respond to a question, a concern, or a different perspective helps determine whether that person will contribute again. Connection grows when people experience care in both our conversations and our actions.
 
These practices belong in our personal lives, too. A recurring dinner, a neighborhood walk, a book group, or a shared volunteer commitment gives relationships time to develop. Following an initial gathering, ask people what they would enjoy doing together next. Let the group help shape what continues.
 
On September 23, I’ll be facilitating two online sessions of Gather: Small Habits That Strengthen Connection, an interactive train-the-facilitator experience for anyone interested in bringing these practices to a workplace, organization, or community group. Through activities and conversation, we’ll explore the healthy habits of connection and how to help others put them into practice. No previous facilitation experience is required, and all are welcome. The sessions are online via Zoom on September 23, 2026 from 12-1:45pm or 8-9:45pm EST. Register for a September 23 Gather Session.
 

One Question Beyond the Agenda

The way we use our time together communicates what we value. When we make space for people to contribute, ask for support, and learn about one another, we make connection part of how our workplaces and communities function. These habits gain meaning through consistency and follow-through. At your next meeting or gathering, make room for one question beyond the agenda: What is something you would like to learn or practice, and how could we support you? What is something meaningful to you that you would like this group to know? What strength or experience would you enjoy contributing?
 
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Meet Lauren

Lauren Sisneros

Lauren Sisneros is the founder of LS Consultants, LLC, a consulting firm that provides strategic advising and interim management support to nonprofit and education-focused organizations. A mission-driven leader with over 20 years of experience, Lauren brings a deep commitment to advancing equity across education, workforce development, and public policy.

With a keen understanding of complex systems and a results-oriented approach, Lauren partners with organizations to develop and implement strategies that are both effective and sustainable. Through LS Consultants, she delivers hands-on guidance in program management, board and stakeholder engagement, and leadership transitions, empowering mission-aligned teams to grow, adapt, and create lasting community impact.

Lauren has collaborated with a diverse portfolio of clients, including the Prosperity Denver Fund, Contractor Academy, Education Commission of the States, and Strong Start to Finish. Her work is grounded in a strong foundation of project management, nonprofit leadership, and policy analysis.

She holds a Bachelor’s degree in Business Administration from Colorado State University–Pueblo and a Master’s in Education from Colorado State University Global. Lauren is also a proud graduate of the University of Denver’s Latino Leadership Institute, a fellowship preparing Latino professionals for positions of influence across Colorado, and the Denver Metro Chamber Leadership Foundation’s Leadership Program, an 11-month civic leadership experience.

A Colorado native born and raised in the San Luis Valley, Lauren now lives in Lakewood, Colorado. She is a proud mother of two college students and a devoted grandmother who cherishes time with her family.

Throughout her career, Lauren has remained deeply dedicated to expanding access to opportunity, especially for underserved communities. Her work continues to center on shaping systems that are inclusive, community-driven, and equity-focused.

Meet

Kyle Christensen

Kyle Christensen, M.P.A., is a program leader, facilitator, and trainer with more than 25 years of experience designing and delivering transformative learning experiences that advance leadership, civic engagement, and organizational change. He specializes in designing and evaluating leadership programs, facilitating team and organizational development, and guiding strategic planning processes that align purpose with measurable impact.

As founder of The Connected Leadership Project and consultant with Arrow Performance Group, Kyle partners with organizations such as the State of Colorado, CiviCO, and the University of Denver to design experiential leadership programs that build resilience, connection, and innovation. He also serves as program director for Leadership Veteran, an 8-month leadership initiative advancing the skills of professionals serving veteran communities.

Previously, Kyle directed Colorado State University Douglas County Extension, where he launched Colorado’s first Juntos 4-H program to expand pathways to higher education for Latinx youth and families. He also led the Family Leadership Training Institute of Colorado and has worked with institutions such as Peace Corps (Moldova), NYU Steinhardt, Centrul Educatia 2000+ (Romania), and the Council for Economic Education.

Kyle’s facilitation expertise is rooted in adult learning theory and supported by credentials such as Emergenetics, Strategic Doing, and Technology of Participation. He has led statewide and national trainings, peer learning cohorts, needs assessment processes, and community-centered planning efforts across government, nonprofit, and education sectors.

He holds an M.P.A. from New York University’s Wagner School of Public Service and a graduate certificate in Learning and Development from the University of Denver’s College of Professional Studies.

Kyle believes that the workplace should focus on continuous learning and growth, inclusive engagement, and creating a sense of belonging. “Why wouldn’t we hope for work environments that align with our values and our professional and personal growth aspirations?” He brings curiosity, compassion, and clarity to every engagement, and is most inspired when people find their voice, connect with others, and lead boldly in collective service.

Meet

Jason Pemberton

Jason Pemberton is a multi-award winning facilitator, coach, independent executive board director, and strategist based in Denver, Colorado. Born in USA and raised in New Zealand, his entire career has been dedicated to Not-for-Profit and purpose-led organizations striving for high impact.

A series of catastrophic earthquakes in his home city of Christchurch, New Zealand, launched him into several years of disaster response, which, in turn, launched him into international consulting practice. He has worked in more than a dozen countries supporting companies, networks, and communities navigate through unexpected terrain for mutual benefit.

As a strategist and coach, he is pragmatic, direct, and clear, bringing his sharp mind and depth of thought to the fore whilst supporting groups to identify their own priorities and take charge of their future. His deep governance experience, coupled with professional training in positive psychology and related coaching accreditations, makes him highly effective at supporting teams of leaders and governors to find successful paths forward.

His time now is invested in supporting governance boards and senior leaders to succeed, and coaching technical experts and engineers on how to be skilled leaders of people.